


Neglected Happiness

by truleedevastating



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A whole bunch of depressing stuff, A/B/O, Activists, Along with Pepper who supports him duh, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/ Beta/ Omega, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - No Powers, And Steve used to be along Tony, And all types of things, Artist Steve Rogers, As a manager of an entire department, Blood, Bucky is worried, Bucky works at Stark Tower, Clint does mainly green protests, Crying, Fierce Steve Rogers, Fighting, Homophobia, Homophobic Assault, I'm Sorry, Ill Steve, M/M, Miscarriage, More Tags will Come Later, Moving In Together, Mpreg, Mpreg Steve Rogers, Natasha leads LGBTQ communities, Omega Steve Rogers, Over Steve, Peter aspires to end human trafficking, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Prosthetic Kink, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protestors - Freeform, Sam does peace protests, Scarlet speaks about abuse, Sexual Content, Sick Steve, Someone dies, Stark Industries is a human rights Industry, Steve paints a future he knows he wont get, Steve works at a high school, This Is Sad, Thor runs All Lives Matter walks, Tony runs the whole Industry duh, bar fighting, but who???, cause im a piece of shit, environmentalists, i think, in the warehouses, like a lot, lots of blood, sicknesses, to the point where he's forced to stay in bed, who did mainly everything, with everyone as campaigners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-06 09:51:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 20,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13408725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truleedevastating/pseuds/truleedevastating
Summary: The journey of Steve and Bucky's relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

The days lingered longer and the nights became horrible. Steve and Bucky loved each other to their hearts content, having sex all the time, tending to the other's aid when in need of help. Cooking, cleaning, getting a small three bedroom house on a quiet street with elderly people as their neighbours. Life was tender and they couldn't have asked for anything better, until of course, there was the time Steve was finally pregnant.

He sat at the toilet seat, lid shut. It was only 11:43pm and he woke up vomiting and clenching his stomach for the sixth time this week. And it was only Wednesday. The night before he checked online the visible symptoms of being pregnant; and he was all of them. He had cravings, _major_ cravings. As in waking up early just to make a nutella sandwich with M&M cookies and then eating 4 granola bars. Constant headaches. Random mood swings from seeking affection from Bucky to not exactly seeing his finished pieces of art in the more positive light as he always did. So after realising that everything lines up he went to the corner store grabbing a pregnancy test box and made sure Bucky didn't notice it.

The results came in after waiting some time. The lines finally popped up- two lines. It was positive. Steve was pregnant, and Bucky was asleep snoring from the bedroom. He's pregnant. Holy crap. How can he tell Bucky? How will Bucky react? What if he doesn't even want a baby?

Steve stands up from the toilet still staring at the stick in his hand, not realising the big ceramic pot plant in front of him. He knocks it over, falling with the ornament that smashes onto the white tiles. Then, the snoring stops and Steve panics, shuffling around as he goes to stand up. When he finally gets to his feet and dusts himself off, he spots the test that had gone across the floor to the doorway, and Bucky comes straight towards it.

"Stevie?" He groans still half-awake. The main reason why he quickly came in wasn't because of the loud smash he heard, but because his Omega's scent was a bit off. Like he was sick, or in pain. Yet a sweet smell lingered with it as well. Both bitter, then sweet. It was hard for Bucky to determine what was happening with his Stevie.

"B-Bucky!" He mutters glancing between the stick and his insanely sexy boyfriend who doesn't even realise how hot he looks shirtless with just sweats on that sag low enough to show the V-line leading to his crotch. Even Bucky's Alpha scent had him perk up a bit, because _by god_ does he love that smell. So masculine, so firm and strong. And so... _Bucky._ The brunette bends down and grabs the stick, lifting it to his face. He spends a few moments inspecting it, rubbing his eyes with a balled fist then widening them to clear his vision. They bulge out the next second, and he looks up to Steve.

"You're...you're..." Bucky stutters trying to find the words. Steve gives a wry smile hiding his hands behind his back and bobbing his head slowly. "I'm pregnant, Bucky."

Unexpectedly, Bucky gasps, drops the stick and runs up to his adorable boyfriend, lifting him up into his arms and spinning him around. He cheers as they twirl around the bathroom, "We're having a baby! We're having a child!"

He finally sets him down, hands tight on Steve's shoulders as their gazes stay locked. "You're really pregnant Stevie?!"

The blonde nods, this time a more joyful smile on his face. Bucky cheers again hugging Steve, tears almost beading out of his eyes. "I love you sweetheart. We will do so much for the baby, I promise. We will look after them and love them just as much as we love each other. I love you Stevie."

 

*****

 

Through the third month, Steve's belly started showing. But at the second month, he was a lot more sick. And his smell was becoming a lot more worse. He was coughing all the time and struggled to eat from such a distaste in food, and easy loss of appetite. Vomiting was regular and he kept a bucket near him everywhere he went. Soon enough Bucky made Steve go on maternity leave even when he wasn't that far through pregnancy to get leave, but even his boss was concerned for his health and let him off.

Being in such a small body, it worsened. The nights were cold and his body was too hot. No sort of treatment helped Steve in any way to cool his aching muscles down. It worsened so much that his skin became pale, thin. Even cold. And Bucky felt his heart shatter all over again at the sight of Steve's skinny arms trying to hold his weight and balance while limping around the house. Steve was hurting, deep down. It was ruining him, this baby, but it wasn't its fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was just the problems of pregnancy.

No hospital accepted them. They were bitter at the homosexual relationship of Alpha and Omega, and so Steve and Bucky had to rely on what only information they had. Steve didn't want to rely on his friends which of course, was  **the** Tony Stark, billionaire genius who was good friends with Steve. When Bucky had no one to go to, he had to turn to Stark. It was their last resort for Steve and the baby to survive this.

So they went to Tony. And thankfully, Stark was more than happy to help the couple. He welcomed them inside his tower and Steve got to meet his friends again after going on hiatus from their missions to go around the world and help different countries in charities and positive campaigns. When his friends, Natasha, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Thor, Peter and Wanda finally reunited with Steve they were shocked by his change of appearance. And they wanted to do everything in their power to help him get better.


	2. Chapter 2

They sat Steve down in one of the health labs of Tony's tower, wrapping his thin body in a white blanket as he laid down on a bed, getting his first ultrasound. Fortunately the baby was healthy, but by what Bruce saw of what was happening inside the womb, it didn't look as healthy as expected at three months. It wasn't properly developed. And Bruce had to break it to Bucky, just not Steve. He didn't want the man who's been suffering all for this baby, learn that it isn't even properly constructing inside him.

By the second week through month three Steve could only barely walk. He wanted to go back to his home but Stark demanded he stay at the Tower in case of an emergency. And so him and Bucky had to move into one of the spare double bedrooms that Tony won't admit; he actually built it for them whenever they were to visit.

Steve was upset at Bucky. He didn't want their help, but he needed it. He didn't want to burden them with what's already a big enough problem. He got everyone checking up on him, walking around with him everywhere he went like he was a child. Everyone is constantly offering their assistance, holding his arm to take him to the bathroom or to the kitchen. They make him breakfast every morning and kiss him on the forehead and cheek whenever they get the chance. They were helping him, supporting him- loving Steve.

But what Steve hated the most was that, no matter the amount of help, the baby's conditions only got worse. His body became fragile, frail, too soft to touch that someone was afraid they would break him. His legs and arms thinned so much that his bones were almost visible. His face- his face was pale with splats of a sickening green and yellow shadowing beneath the flesh, and so small his cheekbones were sharp. Bold.

Bucky had to hold back tears seeing his beautiful partner fall into this heartbreaking state. He stayed with Steve 24/7, waiting outside the bathroom door and holding him in his arms as they gently rocked back and forth, side to side, embrace tight and warm.

"Oh Stevie..." Bucky gently whispered, rubbing his hand up and down Steve's back as tears started to stream down his cheek. He could feel his Omega's spine popping from underneath that white flesh.

"Bucky...I'm going to be fine..." Steve gave a small smile. It was broken, hiding thousands of emotions washing through him. His baby wasn't growing, but his stomach was. By the day.

Bruce had to check up on Steve so much that he just decided to bring the equipment to their room, getting visuals for the baby and everything. Nothing was working. And Bucky fell apart seeing Steve laying on the bed, his round stomach bare in gel with his head turned to the screen beside his bed. His eyes still had glimpses of hope, of faith.

Steve smiled seeing the tiny arms and hands flicking slightly up and down and he gently chuckled, Bruce as well. "Hey look, the little guy is waving at you." Bruce smiles.

The baby was waving. Motioning its un-developed arm up then its hand to wave. Bucky felt a small smile come onto his face as well seeing that, and he squeezes Steve's hand, fingers still entwined.

"Look Buck, it's waving..." Steve breathes out when realising the squeeze over his hand. Seeing that smile on his face...Bucky just wants to give him the world. He wants to love him, spoil him so much until Steve can't take anything else.

 

*****

 

After the appointment with Bruce, the couple stayed in their room, Bucky on a chair beside Steve laying down on a bed. They still held hands and Bucky was almost asleep after another rough day of rushing around the house. But he doesn't care, because it's all for Steve. He runs around the place every day and night for Steve and he couldn't care less.

"Buck?" The blonde murmurs. Bucky lifts his head up to his partner, seeing his head still pointed up to the roof.

"What's wrong, doll?" Bucky shifts in his chair, closer towards the bed.

Steve takes a few moments to speak. He holds his breath and then they come. The tears. They're unstoppable. They roll down the sides of his face, onto his neck and into his blonde hair. They go everywhere staining the pillows. He doesn't dare look over to Bucky with such a broken expression.

But Bucky sighs, holding back tears and leaning down to kiss Steve's hand. "What's wrong my sweet?" He shudders.

He doesn't respond and when the tears finally stop, he shakes his head. "Never mind."


	3. Chapter 3

While everyone from the Tower is out on a trip, only Bruce and Tony stayed back to continue working in the labs. Steve rests quietly on one of the couches near a window to overlook the city. And this couch is hidden in a small space with walls, but no door. Underneath a staircase. It's the perfect spot for him to relax in when he wants his own time.

Every day when it's possible Steve sketches. Of the baby. Of the city. Of what home is going to be like when the baby is finally here. He struggles to contain his excitement but not the way as in projecting it with his voice or jumping up and down; but instead he puts all of it onto sketchbooks and canvases.

Hell, he even did a whole watercolour canvas of him and Bucky holding each hand of the baby between them from behind, all in pastel colours. It's a treasure of his and Tony was impressed by the art so much he wanted to put it up for auction. But Steve made sure it was going to stay with him, and no one else.

Still on the sofa, his hands fly across the paper. He does a basic sketch of Bucky. He always does. He has so many books filled with different drawings of his handsome Alpha whether it's portraits or full-body sketches. Either way Steve only improves.

Bucky comes from behind Steve, hands gently kneading into the Omega's shoulders. "Hello there, sweetheart."

"Hi." Steve tilts his head back until he's staring directly up at Bucky, a smile on his face. Bucky grins and kisses those plump and beautiful lips once noticing his face accurately drawn onto another booklet.

"You love drawing me, don't you?" He snickers once pulling away. Steve glances back down to the sketch and clears his throat, nodding bashfully. "Well yeah, I mean..."

"It's fine, doll. I'm glad you like drawing my sexiness." He winks and circles the couch, slumping down into the white leather beside the blonde.

Steve scoffs and rolls his eyes but still smiles. "Yeah, whatever." He goes back to drawing, and together they stay relaxed until Steve is asleep holding his stomach and in Bucky's arms.

 

*****

 

A week later, Steve could no longer walk. He woke up at 2 in the morning without Bucky by his side and had to go to get some water. He took a few steps, then more and more, leaning against the walls until he made it to the kitchen. Sweat was heavy over Steve's body and his legs were shaking like he was a newborn. By the time he grabbed a cup from one of the cupboards his knee's gave out and he fell to the ground.

Countless times he called for Bucky, but no one came. He had to roll onto his side as he gripped onto his twisting belly that felt like it was churning his insides. No one came until Jarvis had been switched back on (because Tony was adding new programmes onto the AI which required no activity through the Tower) and quickly contacted Bucky.

By the time Bucky came around into the kitchen, there he saw Steve, laying on the cold marble ground, legs shaking and bundled with one arm stretched and the other holding his stomach.

He was crying, and crying, and crying. Trying to call for someone to rescue him. His hair damp from so much sweat was spread around the floor and he was in so much pain.

Bucky's chest pulled tight at his heart but before anything he had to help Steve.

"Stevie...baby, how long have you been like this?" Bucky lifts Steve by the arms, slowly pulling him into a full embrace as he carries his dearly beloved back into the room.

"Even though my systems were temporarily unactive, I am still able to recognise any past occurrences in the Tower. It seems that the door to your's and Mr Roger's bedroom was opened at 2:18, and estimating the time it took for Mr Rogers to reach the kitchen, time would've extended to 2:25 at least." Jarvis, a saviour, informed.

Bucky looks down at the watch on his wrist. "Shit, Stevie! It's 3:50!" He cries out spreading Steve out on the bed then running back to the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water. He rushes into the room, the only sound of Steve's heavy breathing and small painful groans filling the darkness.

Tony and Bruce both come up to their floor once Jarvis had told them about Steve. They were panicking but when Tony knocked on the door and Bucky slowly opened it, their shoulders sagged in relief seeing Steve asleep on his side with a cold cloth over his forehead.

Tony walks in first, breath hitched from too much running. "How is he?" The man whispers.

"Better."


	4. Chapter 4

His eyelids flutter open and for once, he feels at peace. Only for a mere second, until that same excruciating pain hits him all in one and he feels as if his parched throat is pulling his insides out. There's a sharp pain in his back and neck- probably from laying on his back for so long.

Slowly, he lifts himself up off the bed but can't feel his legs. It's like they've been torn off, so to avoid any more stress he lays back down onto the bed. Bucky quickly comes into the room when Jarvis told him Steve was awake and breathed for once seeing his handsome Omega turning onto his side.

He walks over to the bed and sits at the edge of it, running his hands through Steve's hair. "Feeling any better?"

"I...think so." Steve flashes a small smile at Bucky then all of a sudden, clenches down onto his big round belly and scrunches his face up.

Bucky panics and falls off the bed onto his knee's lifting up Steve's thin and baggy shirt. His skin is almost purple now, all types of light shaded colours that aren't good signs whatsoever. They're signs of agonising pain and frustration.

Throughout the day Steve stays in bed because that's the only thing he  _can_ do. Bucky spoils him, grabbing him the food he wants even if he just takes a bite and can't eat anymore, gently setting Stevie's body down in a warm bathtub and taking his time washing over that beautiful flesh. He keeps his legs set straight in the water, washing over his stomach while being bathed thoroughly. Everytime Bucky pulls the shower head off it's stand from up top and lets the water run down Steve's skin, he shudders but smiles. It feels nice. Water dripping down him.

Though it's heartbreaking. Seeing Steve struggle so much and he doesn't want anyone to worry. He has the heart of a lion. The fury of an ox. The strength of a madman. But is too stubborn to rely on those offering his help.

At 4:30pm, Bruce decides to do another check up on the baby. He comes into the room setting all the equipment up with the help of Jarvis and goes through another ultrasound, then running blood results and basic health tests. Not everything is in tact and Bucky knows. Everyone knows. The baby has slightly developed (as in the body has grown a bit larger, hence the much more larger stomach) and Steve is relieved that at least his child is doing _okay_.

"Hey- surprise, surprise...the baby's got a little heartbeat!" Bruce exclaims and the couple gasp, holding their breaths in. Steve almost cries at that but holds his tears in and looks over to his Alpha.

"Buck, the baby has a heartbeat!" He whispers, his voice already rasped from lack of eating and drinking. Bucky nods and kisses Steve's forehead. "It's alive baby."

The appointment finishes and Bruce leaves. Steve and Bucky smile at each other.

"The baby is growing, Stevie..."

"I know, I'm so glad." Steve can feel the tears start to well up in his eyes again as he rubs a hand over his stomach. It's large, but soon it'll become  **too** large for his skinny body to hold.

"I love you, Stevie." Bucky tells him that every day, whether it's making up over a minor argument or just when they're cuddling on the couch. The thing is though, he really does. James Buchanan Barnes is madly in love with Steve Rogers. He always has been, and he believes he is the most luckiest man in the world to have such an amazing, artistic, lovable person as his partner. Every day Bucky wakes up hearing Steve beside him gently snoring, hands flat on the pillow for his head to rest on. Nowadays, Bucky only falls more in love with Steve. He spends as much time as possible with him. They watch movies in bed or pick each other's grapes off the small stems, from the boxes Tony had delivered them. They do everything together now.

Because somewhere deep down Bucky also believes that they're time together is limited.


	5. Chapter 5

Another week passes; going onto almost the fourth month of pregnancy. Steve's fatigue has worsened. The good times are no longer there. Even with the little pup having a heartbeat now, it's still not producing properly. It's staying the same. It's also becoming sick from not being fed the food it needs.

Steve can't eat. It's too much. But he's strong, he always is. So he eats as much food as possible even if it does come back out of his mouth later in the night. Bucky can no longer try and stop Steve from eating too much, only because well, it's Steve fucking Rogers. And Steve will always do his own thing, rather than listening to people.

 

*****

 

Bucky was asleep on the bed beside Steve, an arm slumped over Steve's stomach and the other underneath his head. The day has been peaceful so far. No major surprises of pain.  _Yet._ He could feel pain slowly start to arise all over his body, but just bathed in the moments away from it. The peaceful moments where he felt free.

"Stevie..." Steve immediately turned his head to Bucky and smiled. His eyes were slowly opening and he looked like a mess with his long hair everywhere. Steve loved it.

"Hey Buck. It's 4:30, Bruce is going to be here soon."

"Okay..." Bucky turns on his other side, back to Steve. The Omega chuckles then starts to lift himself up on the bed to lean against the headboard. He looks over to his Alpha and swats the man on the shoulder, "Get up."

"I'm up. I'm up." Steve watches Bucky slowly start to sit up, then ground to his feet. Lazily, he walks around the bed and threw a shirt on then opened all the windows to freshen the room out. A couple minutes later Bruce knocked on the door, and came through. He smiled as he brought all the equipment inside, and sat it all down at the usual tables beside the bed.

"Alright, so how are you feeling today?" Bruce asks with that same polite smile on his face.

"Same old. Not too well."

"Okay. What did you have to eat today?"

"A muesli bar. Maybe some carrot sticks."

"At least you're on a healthy diet rather than a sugar-binging one which most pregnant Omega's go onto. Though it is natural to crave larger amounts of sugar and caffeine, it isn't much of an excuse to consume triple the amounts."

Steve and Bucky bob their heads and Bruce pulls out his last small trinket from his bag and turns to them.

"Okay, so we're going to do another blood test, keep updated with levels of hCG, inhibin, and just your general health state...all that stuff. Jarvis mind pulling the screen out?" He glances up to the roof, and the AI quickly opens the screens up installed into the walls. Bruce plugs everything up, connecting his laptop then sitting down at a chair of the table, fingers flying around the keyboard.

"Alright. So of course we're going to have to extract a little bit of blood, send it through to process in Jarvis' systems and the results should be back in a couple of days."

The appointment goes well and Bruce finishes up, happy. Once everything else is pecked up he says goodbye to them both, leaves the room and walks over to the elevator when Jarvis notifies him.

"Dr Banner."

"Yes, Jarvis?" He sighs.

"It seems we have found a problem while processing Mr Roger's blood tests. I advise we discuss this in your laboratory."


	6. Chapter 6

"What colour should we paint the nursery room?"

"Blue. It's gonna be a boy. I know it'll be." Bucky grins from ear to ear, leaning on the edge of the bed and staring at Steve.

"Oh please. If anything, it's going to be a girl."

Bucky rolls his eyes but still smiles, "Whatever you say, doll."

They laugh together for some time, imagining all the types of things they're going to do once the baby is born. Steve points up and flies his hands around in the air, creating a mental image of the spare bedroom that'll soon become the pups. "It's going to be pink walls if it's a girl, Buck. Not green."

"I don't mean like a bright lime green! I mean a light shade of green. Y'know like...lampshade green. It's all nice and moody."

"Lampshade green? Bucky that isn't a colour. You mean chartreuse? Cause that's still ugly and we both know it. We're not painting a baby's room green. It's either a light yellow, blue or pink."

Bucky smiles again seeing Steve so lively while still in a crucial state. He stares at his love, eyes dreamy while quietly watching Steve still plan out the room. That day, Steve is in lot more of a loving mood as he cuddles up to Bucky once he climbs under the sheets. They rest on their sides gazing each other in the eyes, gentle beams on their faces as Bucky slides a hand over Steve's stomach, then up his back.

He's...beautiful. A goddess. Someone so stunning Bucky fails to even think how people rejected his beloved, even went on pity dates with him. He holds the definition of beauty. Lips a light shade of pink, plump and luscious with skin soft, light and smooth. Hair silky blond that feels so good when fingers run through it. Those eyes. God, _those eyes_ \- Bucky thinks to himself. It's like they hold the world in them. They reflect his deepest emotions and can only be read by certain people. A shining -  _shimmering_ \- crystal, blue with shades that look like snowflakes are caged in them. When his pupils dilate at the sight of Bucky toppled over him, sweating as they make love.

No one has ever made Bucky feel like this. Fall so hard like this. It's unexplainable how much he's loves this man. How they first fell in love with each other when Bucky was just your average helper at Stark Industries, carrying supplies into warehouses, and Steve was working with Stark beside the rest of his friends. Campaigning, joining peaceful protests against racism and violent Anti-LGBTQ+ groups, raising awareness for the environment, protecting animals. Steve has a heart of gold who had no intentions of leaving Stark Industries, until his relationship with Bucky furthered and decided to just take the subtle job of being an art teacher.

"What?" Steve chuckles lightly, still staring at Bucky with that sweet smile.

Bucky takes a moment to breathe; still in a daze from admiring his beloved. "You're...so beautiful, Stevie." He murmurs.

"Thank you." The blonde laughs this time then stops when Bucky doesn't laugh, but just gives a small smile. He sighs and lifts his hand up then runs it through that rough but smooth brown hair, letting the strands slide past them.

"I know you're worried, Buck. About the baby. About me. About  _us._ But we have each other and we're going to get through this together as a team."

"Promise?"

Steve smiles and nods. "Promise."


	7. Chapter 7

Bucky works back and forth, turning back to the truck, carrying big heavy boxes out of its trailer then stacking them onto forklifts. Sometimes he wonders what a luxury life where working hands on like this never occurrs is like, drinking champagne and having a whole drawer of Rolex watches. It's not entirely his ideal way of living but if they're there, then they're there.

Another 5 hours of checking the warehouse, checking crates for supplies even with a flashlight then unloading more trailers and he's finished work for the day. He leaves the warehouse by the big trailer doors, rushing out into the fresh air once more with his backpack over his shoulder, hardhat and orange safety vest still on.

That's when he spots a small group of people climbing out from a large black KIA suv, faces hidden behind shades. An insanely tall blonde guy and red-haired woman walk side by side talking, while another two men follow behind them, one dark-skinned and the other short and scrawny, also blond. They all walk towards one of the main offices connected to the warehouse when right behind Bucky, a man calls out to them. Bucky whirls around to see Tony Stark standing only metres behind him, waving out to the group with a smile on his face.

The three men and the woman run over to him and they all group hug, groaning the longer the stay stuck together. Short-blondie giggles (weirdly, that was insanely cute) and he glances over to Bucky, smirks and bites his lips then looks back. He tenses at that sudden skip of his heartbeat. And he was really sure that he got a little smile from Blondie. Really. Sure.

Bucky starts walking again, over the wide white plot of concrete to the car park, then quickly climbing into his car. He stays staring out the front window for a second, waiting for his chest to stop twisting.

 

*****

 

"Ugh!" Another one down the hatch and he starts to feel his lungs give way. Years ago he was able to take more than a couple of shots. Was able to party like an animal and shit. What the hell happened?

"Okay, you might wanna stop there."

"Brock, I'm fine. Go hook up with someone or something..."

"Hey we came to this club to find  **you** a good babe to hook up, not me. C'mon you can tell that there's some at least  _potential_ mates in here. The Omega scents reek tonight!" Brock jumps up from leaning back against the bar, checking out almost every Omega that passes him with a slap on the ass or just a small grin. Bucky clicks his tongue and shakes his head.

"I don't really want to hook up tonight." Bucky admits, slouching down on a creaky metal stool and hunched over the bar with empty glasses surrounding him.

"Well then what the fuck are we doing here?"

"Just go pick someone up. Go home and do whatever. I'll pick you up tomorrow." Bucky waves his hand at Brock and soon enough, his friend has disappeared into the crowd of people dancing with their drinks up. He turns around on his stool, looking over the dancers. Maybe it'd be best if he did get a partner for tonight or something. Blow off some steam.

So he does, standing up and walking around. He gets a few girls dancing on him, grinding against him just asking for it but in all honestly they don't have much of an attractive scent. They smell sort of...foul. Like they've mated so many times.

Bucky scowls as the foul scent of too many keen Omega's strengthen and he white flags back to the bar on a stool again. Nights like this always turn out the same...boring. Unsuccessful. He sighs and slumps down, getting just another glass of gin and tonic. Bitter. Just like his love life. Sex life. It's all so plain and boring. He hates hooking up even if it is just to let loose a bit. He's only had 3 partners in his life and they were never really there for him. One was too distant because he 'looked scary' (which he didn't understand. If he looks so scary why did they even choose to date him?), the next always pulled money out of him, demanding he buys them stuff if he truly loves them, and the last just dumped him out of the blue. There wasn't really anything wrong with her but  _she_ left  _him._ And so Bucky lives a lonely life as a worker for Stark Industries that unloads boxes into warehouses in an apartment with his room mate Brock.

Another sigh comes from him and he closes his eyes. Then he hears from another side of the bar two men shouting. He pays no attention to the little conflict that's slowly starting to unfold in front of everyone under dark shaded lights, all he can see are two men stuck to each other's shoulder, backs to Bucky as they yell at someone in front of them. The broody men in brown leather jackets get even rowdier and who ever is hassling with them is obviously asking for a good KO. Bucky still watches, sipping at his drink, until one on the men suddenly collapses onto the ground and the people surrounding them cheer. That's when he see's _him_ again. The same little blondie from earlier today, both fists up and standing in fight position, staring down at the unconscious man on the floor.

"What the fuck! Get here you little shit!" Second leather-jacket guy goes to grab at blondie's plaid shirt, when he escapes into the crowd, slipping past people. Bucky tracks him with his eyes, watching his every movement. Shit he's fast. And did he actually just KO that dude?

Blondie runs through another crowd and jacket guy is quick to catch up with him, finally gripping at the collar of his shirt then pulling into a larger space. At that point Bucky shoots up from the stool and walks directly over to the two. He puts a hand on jacket-guys shoulder, glaring.

"Get the fuck out of here."

Jacket man scoffs and lets go of blondie after a couple of punches to the stomach, turning head on to Buck. "Walk away dickhead. This ain't your fight." Shit...his breath stinks of onions and toilet. Rotten, disgusting.

Bucky tilts his head to the side enough to glance over to blondie limp on the ground, holding his stomach and coughing up small drops of blood. "I think I'm aware of that. But you're not exactly being fair I mean, look at you. Big guy and this little shortie? Leave him alone."

"Did you just see him knock out my brother? It's a fair fight alright." Jacket man shouts.

"He's your brother? What you got another one as well? You guys the three stooges?" Everyone now forming a circle around the three men 'ooh' and lean back laughing. Jacket man doesn't hesitate to throw a punch after shaking his head, snickering a bit. Bucky quickly dodges it, grabbing straight onto the wrist then twisting it a full 180. The man screeches but doesn't give up, throwing his other fist straight into Bucky's nose. The brunette grunts and growls, shoving the man away, then lifting him up over his shoulders with all his strength. He walks over to a nearby window and throws him through it, glass shattering everywhere. The entire club goes quiet, staring at Bucky.

 

*****

 

Blondie and Bucky sit outside of the club together, blood trickling down both their noses. Bucky doesn't even know why he's outside. Yeah sure it's cause he broke one of the windows but seriously? All for this beautiful Omega sitting right beside him sniffling and sighing? Yeah. Definitely.

"You really packed a punch back there." Bucky mumbles, a tissue stuck up one of his nostrils.

"You too."

 A few moments of awkward silence pass. "You always get into fights?" Bucky asks.

"Guess so. I'm a stubborn guy after all." The two chuckle realising just how much of a mess they probably look like right now.

"I'm Bucky." He introduces himself, sticking a hand out.

"Steve." They shakes hands briefly before pulling away and Steve puts his scrunched up tissue back to his nose.

_Steve._

"Saw you knock out that guy back there. Pretty damn tough fist."

Steve smiles and bobs his head, "Yeah well, as just said, I get into a lot of fights. Gotta be some way to improve your punching."

"Pretty optimistic for someone who takes street fights all the time."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm sorry I was away for so long, I forgot to pay the Wi-Fi bill so was cut off. But I'm back now! Thank you for tolerating the long wait and I hope you enjoy.

"You...have a prosthetic?" Steve stares in awe at Bucky's metal arm, running fingers over the cold steel.

"Is it a turn off? It's fine if it is I mean...basically everyone is kind of afraid of it. 'S why you never see anyone too close to me." Bucky looks down, at Steve's bare chest laying beneath him. He understands clearly how they got into this. They didn't really beat around the bush after their first proper meeting. Bucky was hesitant because this was the first person he felt he actually loved and maybe he did have a small flicker of fear awaken in him that he was going to hurt Steve. After their unlikely encounter at a club they decided to go to Burger King together and get something to eat, and soon enough they got each other's numbers. Hung out for some time, got to know each other, Bucky found out that Steve works at Stark Industries with his other few co-workers Natasha, Clint, Thor, Wanda, Peter and Sam as an activist for human rights and has all types of sicknesses and allergies. He's an unusual little guy, but Bucky doesn't mind his thin figure or stubborness to back away from a fight. In fact, he loves that about him. He even had a virgin smell to his scent. It was attractive for Bucky because he could hardly find it these days.

Steve smiles and slithers a hand onto Bucky's jaw, then running his other fingers through that beautiful long brown hair, "I'm close to you." He whispers. Bucky beams.

"I know you are doll. But if you don't like what you see, I will understand." Bucky starts to climb off the bed after toppling over on top of the tiny Omega, but Steve wraps his arms around the Alpha's neck and whines gently.

"No...no...please, stay. Bucky, it's beautiful. It really is. And even if it isn't; I'm comfortable with it." Steve is basically grinding his hips against the erection poking into his and closes his eyes at the warm friction. Bucky sighs before coming back over, crashing their lips together as he lowers Steve's red, blue & white briefs and his own plain black ones. Their cocks touch and immediately Bucky groans into the Omega's mouth, eyebrows dug down.

He lifts an arm up past Steve's head, hand messily exploring the wooden bedside table to grab the small bottle of lube. He quickly slicks his shaft until it's basically dripping, then rubs it around the rim of Steve's aching hole.

"Please, please Bucky. I need it. Please Buck, fuck me." Steve pleads, blunt fingernails scraping against the nape of Bucky's neck.

"It's alright baby. I've got you, I've got you." They whisper sweet words into each other's mouth as the Alpha slowly starts to sink inside, erection hardening by the second. So tight and wet...so fucking amazing.

It was their first night together. They've been dating for 2 months now. Earlier, they went out to dinner to celebrate the promotion Bucky got at his job, putting him as manager in the whole of his department. The Alpha didn't think much of it until Steve caught word of it and quickly took him out to celebrate. This wasn't all Steve had planned, though. He wanted it to be their first night they make love. And fuck was it going good. Better than good.

"Bucky...ah!-"

"Shh, baby. It's okay, we'll go slow if you want to. We can go as slow as you need." Bucky whispers, hips slowly starting to move as he held his arms at both sides of the Omega. He looked so beautiful, so stunning and messed up. Glistening hair spread out all over the pillow, skin shining from drops of sweat, eyes closed from the sensation of a big cock filling him and those lips. So sweet and swollen from too much biting and kissing. Steve keeps his arms around Bucky's neck, shaking his head.

"No. No, don't go slow. Go fast, go hard please Bucky just- just fuck me hard."

Bucky stares at Steve in amazement. He's almost at his limit yet he still wants to push it. But it puts a smile on Bucky's face and he leans down, taking over Steve's lips. "Whatever you want doll."

He thrusts and Steve jolts up, mouth opening at an 'O' shape. His body tenses but Bucky runs finger down the side, still kissing whatever skin his mouth can reach as he starts to thrust faster. Harder. Steve's back arches up with every thrust, his cock starting to leak.

"Bucky...Bucky..." The blond whines, pushing his lips onto the brunette's this time.

"C'mon Stevie, come for me baby." They kiss, and kiss and kiss, until with one last snap of Bucky's hips, Steve comes all over their stomachs. Bucky pulls out at the last second, coming all over Steve's body then slumping down on his side, next to the blond. Their heavy breathing fills the room and after minutes of silence, Steve snorts then giggles.

Bucky can't help but grin as well and he climbs back on top of the small body, looking straight into those clear blue eyes. "You liked that, didn't you?"

Steve nods cheekily, "More than anything else."


	9. Chapter 9

While walking through the corridors, Bucky's eyes idly wonder around, staring at the dented locker doors and students (especially the young female Omega's) that brush past him.  _All he has to do is go a bit further. Then take a left and go up the stairs until reaching corridor 10, and room 7 at the end is where Steve is._

He sighs and makes his way up the stairs, black combat boots clacking against the floors. He never really thought about it, but this is the first time Bucky is visiting Steve at his job. And now that the thought has properly sunken in, he really feels like turning around and just telling Steve the good news at his apartment. But maybe Steve will want to go straight to the house? Ah, who cares, let's just get this over and done with.

Room 7, at the end of the corridor on the highest floor. It's an entire art floor with wood technology, digital art, traditional art (which Steve teaches) and even has an entire floor for dancing and drama. Shit, this school is enormous.

Bucky reaches the door to room 7 and takes a deep breath, then lightly knocks. "Yes?" It's Steve's voice. He opens the door and there Steve stands, in front of a table bent slightly down to a student, hand with a pencil in it resting on a sketchpad. God, this room is amazing. A dark wooden room. Dome roof with glass window in it, sun shining through with the blue sky pooling over, floors splattered with paint and all types of art work hanging up on the walls.

"Bucky!" Steve perks up and rushes over to his Alpha, taking his hand and smiling.

"Who let you into the school?" He asks.

"Uh...I just kinda asked if I could see Mr Rogers." Bucky shyly grins and Steve snickers.

"Mr Rogers? I kind of like that." He idly twirls side to side, still holding hands before he walks through the big space in the middle of the class over to his desk dragging Bucky along. "Here. Just stand there."

"Mr Rogers, who is that?" A small girl, brunette with glasses asks.

"Everyone...this is Bucky." Steve proudly introduces his Alpha to his class, grinning from ear to ear. The class smile and some even wave, "Hi Bucky."

"He's my partner. So be nice will you?" Everyone nods, "Now get back to work. I'm looking forward to what designs you'll all have for me to put on those planks." So the students resume their work, drawing and painting. Steve turns to Bucky and pulls him out of the classroom, into one of the closed off storage rooms behind the desk.

"So, what brings you here?"

Bucky beams and steals a quick kiss from those delicious lips, "We got the house baby. It's all ours."

"Wait, seriously?!" Steve pulls away from the Alpha, eyes wide like saucers. He nods and the blond doesn't even try contain his excitement as he gasps and pulls Bucky into another kiss. "Oh my god we have the house! It's ours! We got the house Bucky!" They stay in each other's warm embrace.

_This is it. This is where our new life begins._

Steve pulls away and looks up at Bucky, "This really is the start of our life together, isn't it?"

"It really is doll." Bucky smiles again before pressing another kiss onto Steve's forehead.


	10. Chapter 10

Once the last few boxes were taken out of the truck, Bucky walks back inside the house grabbing a drink from the kitchen. Steve sighs and walks out of the house onto the driveway, a big smile on his face. This is their life. This is it.

"Hey, you the new guy that just moved in here?" A man in an enormous Jeep drives just at the front of Steve and Bucky's driveway, an arm slumped over the front of the door and hair looking like a porcupine. His radio blasts old country music and Steve walks closer towards the Jeep, narrowing his eyes.

"Um, yes. Hello, are you part of the neighbourhood?"

The man scoffs and turns his head to look back inside his Jeep laughing, then he leans further inside and grips onto a can drink. "Go eat some dirt gaybo." He pours his drink over Steve's head, laughs with people behind him in the vehicle and the back windows wind down. More people start to throw their drinks at Steve and the Jeep drives off making a full U-turn then speeding up the road. Steve shudders from the cold soft drinks starting to dry and stick on his skin, and fumes.

The number plate. Just remember the number plate.

He goes back inside the house and Bucky jumps, running up then grabbing onto Steve's shoulders. "Stevie! What the hell happened?!" Steve continues walking into his room shaking his head as he pulls a towel out from the stack already neatly folded in one of the cupboards, strips down and makes his way to the bathroom.

"Just a bunch of assholes who have nothing better to do than to come around, dump their drinks on me and yell homophobic shit." Steve snaps as he turns the water taps on, jumping straight inside the shower. Bucky sighs and shuffles inside the toiletry in the sink, pulling out a new bar of soap and hands it to Steve.

"Dickheads. Don't worry Stevie, you're strong. You won't let them get to your head. I know you won't." Bucky smiles watch Steve open up the bar of soap and start to run it down his body. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head again. "Exactly. That's why I'm going to get back at them."

"What? Steve, why would you do that? You know better than anyone that you don't benefit from a lousy fight. Just leave them, and if they come back around I'll be there with you."

It takes time for Bucky to calm Steve down, during the time he spends washing the sticky soft drink off him and out of his hair, all he talks about is how this fight is different. How this should teach them a lesson and that they won't come back ever again when meeting Steve's fist. He's still oozing with anticipation after the shower to track them down and 'give them a knuckle sandwich', but luckily Bucky comforts him. Wraps a big fluffy towel around that thin body and carries Steve to the living room onto one of the couches, talking about anything but the incident. He doesn't want Steve to fall back into the habit of fighting again. He's a tough one, a strong one that's fiesty but he just never knows when to stop.

He always demanded to be left alone when Bucky was waiting for him at his apartment at Stark Tower with bruises on his knuckles and blood at the corner of his lips, so he could aid himself without the help of anyone else. Bucky considers him a strong-willed-insanely-beautiful-and-brave Omega who he could fuck every day and still not get tired of him. It's everything about Steve that has Bucky swooning for him. Even that fierce look in his eyes when people scowl at them holding hands outside.

Bucky smiles rubbing the towel over Steve's damp hair, letting it bundle up locks of the blond and rub through to the scalp. "Don't worry about them sweet. They won't hurt you anymore with me around."

 

*****

 

A few days later Steve and Bucky are outside, Bucky underneath their car repairing and Steve painting another canvas, watercolour-landscape. The street is peaceful today and (thankfully) the elderly people and married couples in the neighbouring houses were happy to welcome the newest two. Several different house-warming dishes were delivered to them with big smiles on their faces and Steve and Bucky have never felt more loved in their lives. Even if the old man Rick next door just distances himself away from them, his wife Gloria is a bubbly old woman with a heart of gold who makes probably the greatest margaritas ever.

While Steve rests quietly on a small seat at a glass table at the end of the driveway, the familiar sound of a Jeep rummaging down the road rings through his ears. His head shoots up and the same man from before stares wickedly at him, laughing as he stops right in front of Steve, holding his drink in his hand.

"Hey homo. What, you paint?" His words lazily slur like he's drunk 24/7.

"What do you want?" Steve grumbles, rising up from his seat with his sketchbook still in his hand like he's ready to whack it straight over the guys head.

Porcupine-head laughs and hiccups, "Woah? Dick fucker, take a chill pill, or you'll get your ass beat." He starts to climb out of the vehicle towering over Steve and stinking of beer and fish.

"Dick-fucker? Some insult you got there. And get away from me, you're on my property." Steve keeps his chin high, folding his arms and face stern.

Porcupine-head chuckles lowly bobbing his head, "Yeah? And you're on my street, bitch."

"I did nothing to you."

"That doesn't mean I still can't beat you to a pulp, huh?"

"Leave me alone." Steve snaps as he drops his arms, grabbing back onto his sketchbook he left on the table beside him as he starts to slowly walk back. Once a hand rises, it hits him straight into the nose, and he swings the book over the mans head then tries to tackle him to the ground but is thrown off and onto the grass. Steve grunts as his knee's buckle and he falls down with every attempt to stand up.

Bucky, still underneath the car, finally starts to roll out and get back onto his feet. He dusts his clothes off even with greasy hands, calling out to Steve. "Stevie! Do you mind getting me a drink please?" He turns around and see's his Omega once again, ass-first on the ground, eyes locked onto a man three times his size. The hairy man turns then looks up to Bucky and grins.

"Is this dick-fucker #2? You guys suck each other's dick every night or something?" He laughs as he comes stomping up towards Bucky. The brunette doesn't hesitate and also approaches the man, feeling his anger build up. This guy fits Steve's description of the man that harrassed him perfectly, so obviously, Bucky is already balling his fists as the two get closer and closer.

Porcupine-head throws a punch and Bucky crouches, flexing his prosthetic fingers before wrapping them around the mans throat and lifting him up off his feet. The man whimpers and tries to pull the fingers off but is already starting to lose his breath.

"You the fucker that dumped your drink on my Stevie?" Bucky growls, locks of hair now over his face as he glares forward. The man doesn't answer and Bucky shakes him by the neck demanding an answer. "Are you?!" He shouts this time.

Porcupine-head nods then still by the neck, is carried all the way down the driveway and slammed against the side of his vehicle. He's finally dropped and groans as he grasps for air, holding his throat while a mess on the ground. Bucky crouches down and grips onto the mans collar.

"Come around here again and you get twice the pain." Porcupine quickly stands back to his feet and rushes into the Jeep, speeding off. Bucky turns to see Steve still sitting on the ground, small spots of blood at his nostril. He sighs and walks over on the lawn, dropping down and sinking into the grass beside Steve.

"I had him on the ropes." Steve muttered, breathing just as heavily, laying down onto his back.

Bucky smiles and grabs the small hand near him, entwining their fingers together. "I know you did."

"Then why'd you take care of him?"

"I don't know Stevie...I just love you is all."

"Whatever you say, Buck." Steve chuckles. They both lay beside each other, hair scattered over the green grass as they stare up into the sky still catching their breaths.

"Steve?" Bucky murmurs.

"Yeah?"

He takes a moment then swallows, "Will you marry me?"


	11. Chapter 11

Weddings...it wasn't exactly something Bucky had ever considered four years ago. He wasn't the type to settle in and have a family. Because he never really lived a happy childhood. He was abused as a child, neglected by his alcoholic mother who turned to the bottle after the death of his abusive father. He grew up drinking and smoking, sometimes hooking up with Omega's that looked good enough.

Yet here he is, standing at the end of the aisle, watching his beautiful to-be husband coming slowly, walking down, slick in his grey suit. They were selective at who was going to be invited, so it was just Steve's ma, the neighbours, a few other family members and co-workers of both Bucky's and Steve's which included- Tony Stark. Though he did promise not to steal their spotlight.

Everyone smiled watching Steve come down the aisle holding his ma in his arms.  _God,_ he looks amazing. That beautiful blond hair combed neatly to the side and a bright smile on his face just lighting up those crystal blue eyes even brighter. That full-grey suit straight with a blue tie over a crisp white shirt. He reaches the end and him and  _their_ ma exchange kisses on the cheek before she walks to the side back on her seat with tears streaming down her face. Bucky winks at Steve and takes his hand, connected as the blond walks up the small stairway to the front of the officiant. They take each other's hands, beaming as big as possible.

The ceremony goes well. Vows recited countless times at home, in front of an empty room that made Steve's ma cry the most. The 'I do' being the most beautiful part as Bucky and Steve smiled at each other and with those thin arms around Bucky's neck, they kissed to the chorus of cheering. Then came the reception. A drunk Clint stands up with a champange glass in his hand and he talks for almost an hour rambling on about how he once caught the two newlyweds fucking in a closet, and as a joke said 'You two never did come out, did you?'. No one really laughed except for his wife (god bless her loyalty) and sat back down still laughing. Next came Sam talking more responsibly and about the good memories. Then Stark who of course got a round of applause before and after his speech. It wasn't even about them.

The reception goes on for hours that kids are now falling asleep and all the adults are crazy drunk. Bucky sings a few songs with his coworkers, arms around each other's shoulders as they move side to side chanting whatever trucky songs those men had listened to while working in the warehouses.

Steve stays with his ma quietly, not even bothering to move as he just lets the moment sink in. His ma talks on and on about how much he hated the thought of settling down and finding someone. It's because he wanted to be free- to roam the World and explore what hasn't yet been.

Another hour or two and Steve is in the bathroom washing his face. Bucky comes through the door straightening out his suit and grins seeing his handsome Omega in front of him, slightly bent over the marble sinks as he lets water run down his skin.

"Hey, husband." He grabs Steve by the waist, ass against his crotch.

Steve snorts, giggles and turns around to wrap his arms around Bucky's next, then their lips crash. "Hey."

They make out in the bathroom, strong arms wrapped around a tiny waist as Steve is slowly tilted back against the sink, arching up into Bucky's broad chest. Steve separates himself from those delicious lips with a smile.

"Wedding, Buck. We can do all  _this_ later." Cheekily, Steve rubs a palm over Bucky's crotch and grips onto it, then lets go. The Alpha growls and bites at his Omega's neck, their lovemark still visible once the collar is pulled down. "I'd rather do everything now." He grumbles starting to lift Steve up with his hands tightened around the thin thighs.

"Bucky...later. C'mon." Steve still chuckles and slides out of his husbands grip, sexily turning back with a smirk on his swollen lips. "Fuck, doll. You're gonna be the death of me, you know that?" The two still laugh as they come out of the bathroom holding hands and make their way back to their table with the whole of the group from Stark Industries.

The evening continues on forever, children now asleep elsewhere away from drunk adults celebrating. Steve and Bucky stay stuck together for the rest of the time they spend at the reception until of course, Bucky can't wait any longer and so with a grand entrance, comes a grand conclusion.

He lifts Steve up bridal-style (though Steve wanted to switch roles) in the middle of the dancefloor after their third dance and everyone cheers as they make out, tongue and everything. Then, they walk out, escaping the place covered with white and powder blue decorations all over the place and red ribboned seats. Tony quickly took over their planning for the venue, the food, the invitations and basically everything, and even when it did result in an enormous whack over his head, Steve and Bucky felt relieved when seeing everything. It was perfect. Tony spent as much time as possible carefully observing the couple's preferances, and put it into the decorations. He made the venue look spectacular. Dazzling, shining. All that Steve and Bucky didn't really expect, but got it full throttle.

Now that the big cake was cut and the dances were done and the alcohol was surely running low, Steve and Bucky made their way back home in their white and blue Cadillac series 62. They laughed with the two white ribbons tightened over the front of their vehicle showing they're newly-weds to the world. The roof was down, the wind was strong as they passed through highways and roads, hair flying everywhere as Steve stayed underneath Bucky's arm while the other was on the steering wheel. The evening sky pooled over them, sun lowering below the horizon creating mesmerising shades of pink and blue.

"Bucky?" Steve looked up at his husband, shades on the both of them.

"Yes baby?" Bucky almost has to shout over the breeze, still looking forward onto the road.

"I love you." He smiles up, and Bucky finally looks down smiling as well, then quickly presses a kiss onto Steve's forehead.

"I love you too, doll."

"Til the end of the line?" Steve asks this time, still underneath his Alpha's arm.

"Til the end of the line, Steve."


	12. Chapter 12

Bruce rushes around his labratory, pulling out the equipment from his bag after his appointment with Steve and Bucky. "So Jarvis, what's the problem you found during Steve's blood procedures?"

"Well, Dr Banner, a certain disease has been found while we were running diagnostics for Mr Rogers. An over taking of multiple T cells has been recognised and a virus has invaded the cells. I believe it is HIV, if I stand corrected."

"HIV? What? He's been tested positive?" Bruce scrambles around the desk hearing Jarvis mention HIV, and jumps from his seat.

"It seems so. If we can get another blood test tomorrow we'll be able to confirm it. Though I do strongly believe that the tests have been marked positive. Do you want me to notify Mr Rogers and Mr Barnes on the matter?"

"No! No, not yet. We'll get another sample tomorrow and see from then on. I just want to make sure." He sighs, lifting his glasses up and fingers tucking onto the bridge of his nose. It's been a long day. If Steve has been tested positive for AIDS, his life is at risk.  _Serious,_ risk. He's already weak enough trying to hold onto this baby. If this virus spreads through him which probably right now he **will** die.

 

*****

 

Steve knows. He's always known. He knew there was something wrong with him ever since Jarvis sensed it and informed him on the matter. But he isn't going to let it get in the way of this pup. No. This pup is what's motivating him to test his limits and defy them. Even if it's just a couple more months, that's all he needs so he can give birth to this baby and Bucky won't be alone.

Every day, the world seems more and more unreal. The sun comes out and shines straight onto Steve and Bucky's nude bodies in bed, his vision starts to become softer, weirder. Maybe it's the sickness.

The days pass and more and more, Steve feels his body starting to give way. Even more than with the pup in him. His stomach is too big to carry and even if the pup has a heartbeat, and he's passed a certain amount of months- this thing just isn't healing. Bucky's concern heightens with each passing second and a glance of Steve in agony. Now that Steve is stuck in bed and he can't even draw now, he realises just how weak he's become. And he hates it. Steve loved it when he could walk down the roads everytime and see the liveliness of the neighbourhood. To see things properly. Now he's just a weak figure who knows more than anyone that his time is approaching.

One particular day, he feels short of breath still in bed, in the room alone while Bucky is just a few floors down talking to Stark and Banner. He rolls to the other side clutching onto his chest and groans louder and louder everytime. Like something's attacking him. But more than that, his crotch feels in pain.

"Mr Rogers?" Jarvis is alert, but Steve can't even hear him properly. A high pitched sound has nearly completely overtaken his hearing. It's deafening and feels like a spear to the head.

"Mr Rogers? I'm sensing you're in a state of severe distress and pain. I am contacting Mr Barnes."

"N-No! Don't! Not yet, I'll be fine." Steve grunts out still pulling at the bedsheets and his clothes trying to ease the pain.

"But Mr Rogers, you're body can-"

"No, Jarvis. Don't contact him. Argh!" He feels his stomach churn.

"Contacting Mr Barnes." Jarvis doesn't listen and starts calling Bucky, but Steve doesn't want to pull Bucky away from any personal things. He doesn't get much time alone, he doesn't even leave the Tower now. All because Steve is struggling to hold a baby.

"Stevie? Baby what's wrong?" Bucky's voice picks up and projects through the roof speakers. Steve groans again and whimpers rubbing a hand over his belly.

"B-Bucky it's...it's f-fi- Ah!"

"Hold on Stevie. I'm coming baby."

Within minutes Bucky's through the door with Bruce and Tony at his side. He looks over Steve curled up and the blanket now off of his steaming body and rushes to the sight of a small puddle of blood near Steve's legs.

"Baby!" Bucky runs to his husbands side grabbing onto the shivering arms and gently shakes Steve. "Baby, wake up!" Steve groans and goes to turn to his other side but his whole body feels numb. Then sore again. He feels paralysed.

"Bucky..." He trembles and shudders. His lips feel dry and throat parched. Like he's in a desert. Alone and dehydrated.

"He's bleeding!" Bucky shouts starting to lift Steve up and carry him into a bathroom.

"Jarvis, get new sheets and bed covers. New everything for the bed immediately." Tony orders as he and Bruce quickly pull the stained white bedsheets off, roll them up and throw them to a side. Bucky starts to cry as he lowers Steve into the bathtub, pulling off all his clothes and running the water. His heart feels like it's been pulled out and stomped on. He doesn't want this. None of this. Even if it's for a baby that they've been looking forward to for so many years, he doesn't want his Stevie suffering like this.

-

The water runs and instantly, it's mixed with red patches. Bucky pulls the shower head off its stand and lowers it around Steve's crotch and belly, washing away excess blood. Steve's silent, shivering hands over his belly and he leans back resting. His eyes are lowered to the pup in him and tears start to fall down his cheeks. They're faint but as soon as Bucky see's them his whole world shatters.

"Stevie...sweetheart." He continues letting the water rush over until no more blood is seen mixed, and lifts the showerhead up to his Omega's chest, then the rest of his body.

"Bucky...it's not going to happen is it?" Steve murmurs, eyes still levelled down.

He doesn't know how to answer. Does he even answer? With what? Yes, no? He doesn't want to say no, but not yes either. Either way it's going to ruin the both of them. A lie isn't going to help Steve. But Bucky...he wants Steve to know that they're going to get through this no matter what. These obstacles- they expected them. They really did yet Bucky wants it all to stop now. He doesn't want Steve suffering any more. No more.

Steve starts to sob, wiping his hand over his nose and cheeks. "It's not, is it?" He whimpers. Bucky exhales what feels like a million years of pain and stress. "I...I don't know Stevie." It's all he can answer with.

 


	13. Chapter 13

He wakes up again, this time at a reasonable time in the morning. Thankfully Jarvis lifted the blinds already so now the sun is the only light illuminating their dark room, bright beams of yellow colouring over. His eyes fluttered open to the sound of snoring. Bucky's snoring. When he turns onto his side he earns a full view of his husband dead-asleep with his mouth wide open.

Steve snorts and stares, and stares. For so long. _This is my husband,_ he thinks to himself as he brings a calloused finger up to lightly brush over Bucky's scruff on his cheek, then jawline. Then, his whole palm holds Bucky's cheek, feeling the rough hairs underneath his skin. The Alpha doesn't wake up, instead a small smile coming onto his lips as he shuffles around in the bed and melts into that familiar caress.  _He's tired. Too tired. Look at him, Steve._

He has dark circles under his eyes, a face falling almost pale, the few lines creasing his skon growing bolder. Is this the result of Steve's pregnancy? Bucky must pay the toll as well?

"Steve?" Bucky murmurs, groaning as he stretches his legs and yawns.

The Omega smiles, "Hey."

"You're up early. Don't normally wake up at this time." Bucky moves closer towards Steve, wrapping a hand around his waist as they peer into each other's eyes.

"Maybe because  _someone_ was a bit too loud on the snoring." Steve giggles but Bucky frowns. "I'm sorry, it really did wake you?" He sighs.

"Buck, it was a joke. And besides, I'd rather wake to you snoring than anything else. It's almost like a remedy for my overwhelming anxiety."

"So you like my snoring? Don't mind it?" Bucky lifts an eyebrow.

"Yes Buck, I like your snoring." Steve huffs out in exasperation rolling his eyes. "But you know, I do like your kisses a bit better." He winks and Bucky chuckles, arm around Steve's waist tightening only slightly.

"I don't know doll,  **that** comes with a price. You wanna find out how much each costs?" They bring their foreheads together, then slowly, their lips.

"Mm...I think- $1.50 for a simple kiss, $3 for tongue." Steve jokingly guesses as they touch noses. "But yes, I would love to find out the actual prices."

Then, they kiss. Lips crashing like waves. They both grin in each other's hold despite the big belly separating them and Bucky leaves Steve wanting much, much more.

"Jesus, Buck. You know I banned those kisses 'cause they get me riled up."

The two laugh, kissing and kissing over again before Steve feels a pang of pain hit him in his groin again. It's a familiar rush. Too familiar and uncomfortable. He wants it to disappear. In the middle of more than an extremely steamy kiss, Steve pulls away and grabs hold of his stomach, like it's being emptied out.

"Stevie? Sweet, what's wrong?"

He doesn't answer, instead burrowing his head down trying to stand the pain. But soon enough it begins to overwhelm his nerves and brain and he grips a hand over Bucky's shoulder. "Bucky." He chokes out.

With that, Bucky is sitting up on the bed. "Steve, c'mon talk. What's wrong?" He starts to lift the Omega up to lean against the headboard with pillows supporting him, then lifts up the sheets.

"Fuck." There's another blood patch starting to grow near Steve's legs. This time though, the smell of it is foul. Bitter and evil. The smell that reeks death. Every Omega, Beta and Alpha know it. And Bucky is immediately ordering Jarvis to contact Stark and Banner while lifting Steve up to carry into the bathroom.

"James? What's wrong?" Bruce asks through the phone.

"Dr, Tony, get up here now. It's urgent."

Stark and Banner come through the room, faces pale as soon as the smell of the blood wafts up their nostrils. "Holy shit." Tony walks to the exposed patch on the white sheets, and the closer he gets, the stronger he scowls yet stares.

"That's a dangerous smell. And it doesn't mean any good." Bruce mutters and knocks on the bathroom door before opening it after a 'Come in'. Steve's in the bathtub again being washed down and gritting his teeth to hold in any cries of pain. His blunt fingernails scrape his skin as his eyes squeeze shut, enduring everything going through him. Bruce kneels down beside Bucky sitting on a stool with the showerhead in his hand and smiles reassuringly.

"Hey Steve." His eyes scan the body, searching for anything that may be able to tell him something.

"Doc." Steve grunts, a small smile coming onto his face. Tough fellow.

"I won't ask how you're feeling; it'll sound idiotic. But what I will do is give you a check up. The blood in there smells inhumane, and it's a bad sign for the pup."

"You need me to leave?" Bucky asks as he turns off the water and places the showerhead back in its stand. Bruce shrugs, "Only if you want to."

 

*****

 

Before Bucky decides on his own to leave, he lifts and carries Steve back into the bedroom after drying him down then walks out of the room along with Tony. Bruce asks Steve to lift his legs up and spread them, and from then on spends an hour inspecting and searching. When he finally gets the results, he's less than enthusiastic to inform Steve.

"I'm sorry Steve." Bruce sighs lowering his equipment in his hand as he looks over the blanket covering Steve's legs.

"What is it?" The blond sits up on his elbows, heart thumping so loud that surely it can be heard. Dr Banner pulls his glasses off, thumb and index finger squeezing at the bridge of his nose while a deep frown covers his face.

With one big breath he grabs Steve's hands and looks him in the eye, "It's the pup, Steve. It died in the womb."


	14. Chapter 14

After almost 10 minutes of quiet sobs and heartbreaking cries Bruce stands up from his seat beside the bed and goes over to the front door, "I'll call in Bucky and give you two some time alone." He leaves without question and Bucky comes in.

He replaces Bruce on the wooden chair and quickly grabs Steve's right hand with both of his, their fingers tangling together.

"Stevie? C'mon baby, how's the pup?"

He doesn't answer, instead shaking his head and pulling his hand out of Bucky's to cover his red and ruined face. They sit there, Bucky staring at Steve trying to think of something until his husband finally chokes up.

"The pup..."

Bucky leans closer, tears starting to well in his eyes.

"It..." He starts to sob again, covering both his palms over his face. Tears start to slowly trickle down Bucky's cheeks as he watches his beloved cry so hard, it's unexplainable.  _No. No. Don't say it._ But he needs to know. He has to know.

"The baby, Buck..." Steve whimpsers.  _C'mon. Tell me darling._

"I-It suffered inside me." He sobs out, continuing on. "Bruce did everything he could."

"Darling, breathe. Just say it slowly. Please baby." Bucky shuffles closer, butt still on the seat as his entire body slumps over the bed so he's staring up at Steve with eyes locked onto the roof above. He idly rubs his thumb over Steve's thinned fingers, patiently waiting for an answer. Any answer.

The tears don't stop but Steve breathes, inhaling, exhaling, closing his eyes. But even when he does to face reality, he can only sob again. "We lost her." In the smallest voice possible, he whispers, face scrunching up.

Bucky's whole world stops. His heart stops. His brain feels like it's been pierced with a bullet. He feels stabbed. Attacked and thrown away. His emotions overwhelm him the second the words ring through him and he inhales, holding his breath as long as possible. Then, he releases. _All that's happened, all the suffering and crying and pain and exhaustion- and this is what Steve gets in return? No. Fuck no. He doesn't fucking deserve it. None of this. He deserves the whole globe. The heavens. The angels and all the blessings. He deserves so much more._

Bucky can't answer and shakes his head, dropping it into the bedsheets and letting himself go.  _It was a 'her'. A little princess. Exactly what Steve wanted, and he never got it._

 

*****

 

Bucky comes out of the elevator, tipping side to side carrying his trusty friend in his hand. He giggles and hiccups, forcing his wobbling legs to go over to the kitchen island. His body slams against the marble so hard he feels a rush of blood come around his face and some even start to stream out of his nose. But he doesn't even feel the pain. Instead, he chuckles, vision starting to blur.

"Mr Barnes, you're intoxicated. I'm going to contact-"

"Don't J. It's... _okaay._ " He giggles again and starts to walk over to the living room, over to a bookshelf where there's framed photos of him and Steve. Most of them filled with Steve, whether it's his smiling face or him elsewhere on a trip with Bucky. His hand lifts up and he pulls off one with him and Steve laughing together in their wedding suits.  _That smile. I haven't seen it in so long._

Suddenly, a wave of anger washes through him and he slams the glass frame onto the shelf again, small shards deep into his flesh.  _Still no pain._ He doesn't feel anything and turns his hand around, palm facing upwards as small drops of blood bead out and fall onto the ground. It's a lot more blood than expected, but he doesn't care. Because he can't feel it.

"Bucky? Why're you up so late? Jarvis told me you're si-" Tony stops in his tracks seeing Bucky in the dark, back illuminated by the moonlight from outside. Slowly, Bucky turns his head to see Tony, Sam, Clint and Bruce together, all frozen as they peer wide eyed at him.

Clint's eyes drop to the bottle stuck in Bucky's hand. "Hey man, how much have you been drinking?"

"I haven't drunken anything." Bucky chuckles carelessly as he looks back at his bloody hand.

The four men sigh then approach the brunette, Sam putting a hand over the mans shoulder. "C'mon, lets get to bed." He smiles.

"No." He retaliates.

"Bucky...come on. It's 1:30 in the morning. Where the hell did you even get so much alcohol?"

"I...I ran down to the corner store. Got m'self some uh...Whiskey and, and..."

"Definitely something else. Alright, hand over the bottle. We'll take you to your bedroom." Tony gestures a hand to the bottle, demanding it to be given up on. But Bucky shakes his head feeling slightly annoyed as he backs away from the group starting to surround him.

"Fuck you. No."

"Bucky. Don't be like this."

"No!" He throws the bottle to the ground and backs away even further, and everyone else sighs.

"James, whatever is going on, we're here for you. We'll listen to you but we need you to calm down." Bruce smiles,  _I fucking hate that smile,_ and Bucky growls.

"Get away from me. Leave me alone." His hair falls down over his face and he shakes his head, chest lifting up crazily as the men come closer and closer to him. They all stand cautiously then when Clint takes a step too close, he's smashed over by the metal fist and is wrestled onto the ground. "I said get away!" He shouts as the other three try pull him off.

He flings an arm backwards, shoving everyone away. Clint kicks him in the stomach and escapes from Bucky's grip on his neck. "Bucky! Stop!"

"No! No!" He lets go of Clint, throwing the man out of his hands and stumbling back with his hair ruffled and clothes all messy. He takes short breaths trying to graps onto air. "I won't stop! No! My baby is dead! And Steve's still sick! He doesn't fucking deserve this!" He cries out, tears wildly flowing down his face and flicking everywhere with his sharp movement. No one talks, all watching him break down with his bloody hand staining his clothes.

"Steve is sick! He can't even get out of bed! He did everything for the baby and this is what he gets?! A mis-fucking-carriage!" No one still responds. Speechless. "He deserves so much. He deserves all the gems and diamonds and everything else. He deserves the world. Why can't he even get the happiness he just wishes for? At least a second." Bucky sinks to his knee's.

"He was treated like shit all his life. I did nothing to help him. All I did was sit beside him while he cries every night and begs for help and relief. I did fucking nothing." Bucky cradles his head in his hands, feeling the cool liquid rub over his face. Then it shoots up again, directly at Bruce. And he grumbles, getting onto his feet and stomping towards Banner.

He grabs the man by the collar, "You did it! You fucking killed her! The baby! This is your fault!" Bruce stutters and trips over his words, trying to pull himself out of Bucky's mighty strength.

"You killed mine and Steve's pup! You fucking murde-"

His vision goes black after feeling a force go against the side of his cheek, and he falls onto the ground.


	15. Chapter 15

After Bucky woke up the next day, Steve couldn't be upset. Not at anyone. Not at Tony who knocked Bucky over, not at Bucky who was drunk and that's why Tony punched him. He just wanted time alone after Bruce proposed they hold the operation to remove the dead pup inside him, by tomorrow. Steve was already stressing and when Bucky woke up beside his husband in bed, with mumbles surrounding him, he felt a large weight of guilt drop onto him.  _Fuck, Bruce._

Oh, and that. Like most drunk guys they forget the stupid shit they say by the time they wake up hungover. But not Bucky. No. He totally remembers. Grabbing Bruce by the collar and lifting him up on his feet. Staring dead in his terrified eyes. Seeing his face redden. Then saying such nasty words that surely has left Bruce more than upset. What if he wants to no longer do the operation to remove the deceased pup in Steve? What if he orders the two to leave the Tower even though he doesn't run it?

Bucky's eyes flutter open a few times to clear his vision until he just slightly nudges his metal arm and Steve's head whips down to him.

"Buck? Mornin'." He flashes a small smile before it disappears. Bucky lifts himself up until he's against the headboard beside his husband and facing the group sitting at the end of the bed, all on chairs. Clint and Sam sit on the table, their legs almost at the ground, while Natasha, Rhodes, Peter and Tony all sit on chairs with their legs wide and elbows leaning on their knees, then Pepper and Wanda standing up with their arms folded.

"Hey Bucky. Feeling any better?" Natasha asks.

"I don't know if you should be asking me that." Bucky sighs looking over to Clint with a band-aid over the bridge of his nose, then one slapped on his cheek. Clint grumbles glaring towards Bucky but doesn't talk otherwise.

"Yeah, we should. What you said last night wasn't good but uh...you broke down. Obviously, you've been enduring a lot of shit." Sam also grumbles, slouching as he swings his legs.

" _Language._ " Despite being the smallest one, Steve has a lot of fury. So Sam warily smiles over at the blond before awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"I suggest you go talk to Bruce after you shower and eat. He's been locked up ever since the  _things_ you told him." Pepper doesn't beat around the bush and in her usual tone, is already ordering Bucky around. He's hungover, but he doesn't want to do anything else until he clears things with Bruce.

So he does. He showers then eats, then makes his way down to the labratory. "Dr Banner?" He knocks on the glass door, seeing Banner sitting on a chair with his back to the entrance.

"Dr Banner? It's me, Bucky. Can we talk?" Bucky is trying his hardest. He wants to smash his head into a wall. But he has to do this. And flattery with a bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates isn't going to do shit so he didn't buy any of that stuff. By the third knock Bruce jolts up from his seat and whirls around. Then his shoulders slightly sag and a small frown covers his face, but he tries his best to hide it and slowly walks to the entrance.

"Hello, James..."

_This is it._

After an hour of constant apologies Bruce was more than happy to forgive him. He understood why Bucky was so upset and angry, explaining it's only a natural result of experiencing a miscarriage. But Bucky didn't want to be forgiven so easily. He wanted to be shouted at and shown at least a little bit that what he did, was really _really_ wrong. He walked out of the labratory waving at Bruce and still apologising, and when he makes it up to his and Steve's floor, everyone else is patiently waiting for him in the bedroom. They all talk everything out, discussing the incident and then Bucky apologising for probably the hundreth time today. Another few hours later, one-by-one they leave the room, until it's just Steve and Bucky alone on the bed together as evening falls through the windows.

"How are you feeling?" Bucky asks, his head turned to Steve.

"Maybe I should just write 'I'm fine' on my forehead? I've been asked that too many times." Steve groans rolling his eyes.  _It's because we care about you baby._

"It's just...we want to make sure. The moment you may not be fine, we may never ask again. We're worried about you Stevie."

"I know. But every 5 seconds you ask me that. Tone it down to at least a minute."

"How about 45 seconds?" Bucky grins.

Steve snorts and narrows his eyes, "55."

"Did I hear 40 seconds?" The two laugh together, Steve leaning his head on Bucky's shoulder. They mention the most random things from how would Octopus taste to how many pencils can go up their nostrils. It's refreshing for them both after what they've gone through. The pain and tears. The crying at midnight and the heartbreaking. It's a new feeling getting to laugh despite the obvious presence of their loss still lingering. But for once, for just a second...they want to forget it all. Forget the pain they've been through and enjoy what they're doing right now.

By 6:00 Steve is already asleep and properly laying down on the bed. His gentle snores make Bucky smile from ear to ear and even run his metal fingers through the blond locks. Looking so at peace when asleep...he wishes that maybe it can be like this all the time. No more worries. And concerns. And blood. None of it.

Bucky stays awake until almost midnight first watching Steve for even longer, then cleaning up around the place even when they have cleaners. He occupies himself watching television, the News and what's going on around the World, drinking the Pineapple juice Wanda said to use as a replacement for alcohol. She said it helps, and in all honesty it does. Has a sour and bitter taste that reminds Bucky of bad memories from alcohol.

He stays on the couch surfing through different channels until Jarvis disturbs his time.

"Mr Barnes, Mr Rogers is calling for you." Immediately Bucky stands up from the couch and bolts to the room, barging through the door.

"Stevie!" He shouts turning on all the lights. Steve is a sweating mess curled up in the bedsheets, holding onto his stomach that's stil bulging from his figure. His eyes are closed and his mouth releases small moans every few seconds.

"B-Bucky...it's- ah!" They aren't the usual sexual moans. These are moans and groans of agony. And it can only mean bad.

Bucky starts to pull the bedsheets off but Steve shakes his head crying, tugging at them again. "No, no! Don't take the blankets off!" He whines, on his back again as he stares at Bucky at the end of the bed with his balled fist tight in the blanket.

"Baby what's go-"

"The baby...I think it's coming out. Ah!" Steve jolts again at the sudden whip of pain in him and scrunches his face even more.

"What? The baby?" Bucky kneels down and lifts the bedsheets up to see Steve's legs. He's already stripped himself of his pyjama pants and briefs, and is laying naked as blood starts to leak from him.

 _Just stay calm. Get him up._ "Okay baby I need you to sit up. Just breathe. Alright? It's going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine sweetheart." Bucky helps Steve up against the headboard before lifting his legs up then splits them, the blanket still over his body. Steve's state of pain increases by the second until his cries for relief are the only sounds Bucky can hear.

"I can feel it!" Steve yelps again, his grip on the sheets tightening and his tears glistening with his sweat.

"C'mon baby, just push." Bucky feels the tears well up in his eyes as more and more blood come out until almost 30 minutes later, Steve finally pushed the dead pup out. It's small, undeveloped body is cold yet warm, and covered in rotting blood that smells of death. It lays on the wet bedsheets, not moving at all after exiting Steve and Bucky grabs a towel from the bathroom. He gently grabs hold of the fetus, not caring at the least with the large amounts of blood. Tears leaks from Steve like broken taps while he catches his breath, hair damp from the mass of sweat covering him.

"Stevie..." Bucky is shaking with the towel over his arms and the pup they spent so much time looking forward to, finally before him. She's beautiful. Even if he can't see her properly from the tears blurring his eyes, she's an absolute beauty.  _You're so beautiful my princess._ Bucky coughs up a small smile as the tears drop and he stands up, walking over to Steve with his eyes locked on the pup.

"How...how does she look?" Steve breathes, head on an angle as his chest starts to calm down and his eyes start to open a bit more.

"Beautiful, Steve. She looks beautiful." Bucky sits down on the edge of the bed and twists himself around to Steve, slowly pushing his folded arms forward, handing over the pup. Steve smiles looking down at his pup, more tears starting to drop down on her.

Bucky doesn't know what to do but decides to shift around the bed and underneath the blankets beside Steve, their heads bumped together. Jarvis isn't ordered to, but he dims the lights enough for them to (somehow) feel at peace. They stare down at her, crying and crying for hours on end as she's cradled, her tiny body still covered in vernix and blood.

"Did you have a name in mind for her?" Bucky whispers as he watches the small little arm motion to the movement of Steve shifting himself.

"...Did you?" Steve did have a name for her. Both a boy's name, and a girl's name. It was prepared for the pup all along.

Bucky shrugs his shoulders, pushing his bottom lip out a bit before smiling again.

They stay like that. Just like that. Watching herfor hours onwards until Steve was finally drained of tears just as much as Bucky. Bruce and Tony came into the room when Jarvis alerted them over the smell on the bedsheets that was still fresh, but started to rot as escaping from a womb and dead pup. Bucky took his husband to shower while the two others cleaned the room again. Steve held the baby with him the entire time, in the bathtub getting his body washed down as his stomach started to deflate already. His fatigue was still bad and Bucky didn't know why. He wasn't expecting fast recovery after his Omega gave birth but shouldn't he at least appear a little bit better? Looking closer, Bucky can't help but notice that Steve is actually looking worser than before.

Steve sits quietly in the bathtub, letting the water from the shower head in Bucky's hand wash over his back. He still holds his pup in an arm, smiling every single time he pokes at her little arms or legs.

"You're so beautiful." Steve murmurs, tears starting to overtake his emotions again. Bucky gently threads his fingers through Steve's gold locks of hair then with the shower head, sprays water around the neck, and slowly to the front.

"I'm sorry my princess." His head falls as he starts to sob on his arm cradling the pup. "I'm so sorry." Steve's voice cracks and weakens.

"I didn't do enough for you my princess. I had so much in plan for us three." Bucky drops the shower head to the side of the bathtub and leans over it, pulling his Omega into his arms. Steve cries again holding tight onto their baby.

 

*****

 

After the burial, the two husbands sit quietly in front of the pile of dirt before them, alone as they stare forward. Steve leaves his head leaning on Bucky's shoulder while he sniffles his nose. By now, both of their eyes are bloodshot and swollen from eternal crying, not once letting the pain of their baby go. It took Tony only seconds to arrange a funeral for 'the Princess', and it was immediately decided that it was going to be small. Only Natasha, Bruce, Sam, Wanda, Peter, Thor, Tony, Clint and Steve's ma came. They all went to church first then buried her, saying their goodbyes then leaving Bucky and Steve alone for their own comfort. It took especially Steve time to hold his tears in for even a second, he struggled to even say his farewell.

"Are you cold baby?" Bucky doesn't wait for an answer as he pulls his trench coat off and puts it over Steve's trembling shoulders. Thank god for the being half the Alpha's size, he can slip the coat on with ease. But Steve leans his whole body further into Bucky's, basically kneading himself into the warmth.

"C'mon, we'll visit her again later. You need to eat." He really does. Bucky's concern hasn't been dismissed after the birth because Steve has worsened. He's going whiter in the face that at this point it seems almost impossible to go any paler. His body is thinning enough to snap with a feather that drops on him and he's coughing and bleeding every day and night.

Steve doesn't bother to talk, probably because his throat has dried out from the lack of water he's consumed. But he stands up still in Bucky's arm, and the two blow kisses towards the pile of dirt with small smiles before walking off, trotting through the grass as they shuffle downhill to their car.

"You think she would've liked her name?" Steve whispers, voice rasp and gentle.

"She would've loved it doll." Bucky's left arm around Steve's shoulders who's folded his tighten and they kiss, nearing to the vehicle.

 

_In Loving Memory Of_

_Peggy Buchanan Rogers_

_5th February 2018_


	16. Chapter 16

It took time. For Bucky and Steve to stop crying. To at least try and not release tears. They spent most of their time together whether it was in a cafe eating brunch or just at home snuggled in bed. They didn't make love, despite the intimacy. Sometimes Steve would put a hand on Bucky's thigh, but not in a sexual way, more in a comforting way and proof to show that he's real. That  _this life_ is real.

Almost two weeks later, Steve was still in bed coughing until he was choking. Bucky didn't know what was wrong. But Bruce...he did. He knew why Steve was too sick to even move as much. Why his scent was so off it made Bucky wonder what the fuck was happening. He came back after his second day back at work and found Steve still asleep in bed, frail body smelling familiar...almost like their daughter's. Bucky dropped his brown bag to the side at the door, hair out and hanging as he rushes over to his husbands side. He doesn't wake him up, just solely watches over him, those white lips partly opened as Steve releases small breaths.

 _You'll be fine baby. I promise._ With one last small smile that erupts over Bucky's face he turns and walks over to the drawer with a picture of Peggy, their Princess, and lifts up the wooden frame with his prosthetic.

"Have you been watching over your daddy? Make sure he's okay for me when I'm gone Princess." Bucky whispers, idly running a thumb over the wood then resting the picture back down. For the first time he turns around and instead of staring at Steve, looks around the room. Eyes exploring the small ornaments on book shelves and art supplies in the most random of places. Small, circle roof-lights dim and grey automatic blinds halfway over the windows beaming with evening sunlight. The room is a comforting, yet at the same time terrifying dark. It scares Bucky seeing his husband resting in such a saddening state with the darkness overcoming the both of them like this.

What scares him even more is that the only sound that can be heard is the heart-rate monitor connected to Steve, small jumps and beeps at a reasonable pace sending Bucky over the edge each time. At any second, any moment, the line can flatten. As much as it helps telling him how Steve is doing, Bucky fears the worst and doesn't want to be notified when his husband has finally let go of his last thread of life.

"Buck?" Steve's eyelids flutter open, cheeks hollowing as he opens his mouth. Bucky jolts himself out of his own thoughts and smiles, a fake one arising, and Steve can see straight through it.

"What's wrong Bucky?"

"It's nothing doll. Don't worry about it. Just get some rest." Bucky shakes his head in dismissal, walking over to the edge of the bed and taking his husbands hand.

"You came back from work?" Steve doesn't want to sleep. Catch up on rest and close his eyes. He wants to talk to Bucky about anything and everything.

"Yeah. Just finished. How long have you been asleep for?"

"Since you left this morning. Can't even bring myself to wake up these days. It's a bunch of crap." Steve smirks, the clear nasal tubes shifting around over his lips. His voice sounds as if his very voice box is decaying from his body, like it's starting to turn to dust.

"Even crappier that I can't kiss you, huh?" Bucky gently chuckles.

"Hell yeah. Can't even catch a moment where I can touch you again. All over. Lips. Fingers...everything." Steve sighs, coughing up so much he has to lean forward and grab onto his chest. His face scrunches painfully and he leans back as Bucky runs a finger down his cheek.

"Don't worry baby. We'll get through this. Everything is going to be fine. Now sleep. You need to rest." Bucky smiles seeing Steve try and fight the force of deprivation but still starts to yawn again and close his eyes. When his Omega is finally asleep, he stands up and starts walking around the floor making himself food before seeing Bruce. They don't converse much of anything. They discuss Steve's problems but Bruce doesn't reveal anything else. It's Steve orders. Not to tell Bucky about his sickness. Steve wants it to be quiet until he can figure out things. He's asked Natasha about several things like funeral insurance, therapy sessions, maybe even something to help Bucky pass with a loss that may occur sooner or later.

 

*****

 

Steve wakes up in the morning, chest tight as he starts to lift himself up with his elbows. He accidentally awakens his husband snoring beside him and Bucky is immediately 100% alert, eyes wide and groggy feeling now disappeared.

"Stevie? Are you okay?" He asks sitting up, rubbing Steve's back.

"Y-Yeah I'm just...just struggling a bit. I'll be fine. Go back to sleep Buck."

"Mr Rogers, I'd like to notify that your recovery from your illness has slowed down by another 12% and I advise you to contact Dr Banner as soon as possible." Friday is suddenly alert as well, informing Steve (and Bucky, shit.) about his illness. Bucky's ears perk up and he almost falls off the bed.

"What?! What illness?!"

"Bucky it's nothing!" Steve tries to shout but his voice shrivels into a painful rasp. Bucky shakes his head and grabs at his Omega's hand. "Baby what is going on? What the fuck is happening to you?!" He shouts tears out, face red with pain as his messy hair falls over his face. He cries, squeezing Steve's hand.

"Please, please baby...what's going on? Why aren't you better? Why are you still sick? Stevie please...tell me why you've only gotten worse." Bucky is finally crying after two weeks of recovering from losing Peggy, and all the pain he's endured, bottled up from seeing his husband in bed like this is finally spilling out in the worst way possible. He's a mess, kneeling at the bed after climbing off it and caressing Steve's bony and pale hands.

Steve sobs but shakes his head.  _I can't tell you Bucky._

"I'm sorry I..." His voice trembles with every word.

Bucky turns to his last resort, looking up to the roof. "Friday, what's wrong with Stevie?"

It takes a few moments but Friday responds after a small beep. "Mr Rogers has been diagnosed with HIV due to an infection involving the miscarriage of your child, Mr Barnes."

Bucky's heart stops. Again. After so many times. He stares at Steve, his breath starting to stutter as it gets caught in his throat. Steve shakes his head with more tears falling down his face and Bucky shoots up onto his feet.

"Buck..."

"Stevie...Stevie....baby....why?" There it is. The breakdown. His voice finally gives way as he drops back down onto his knee's and cradles his head in his cupped hands. Sobs scratch at his throat. Pain strikes at his every muscle and bone.

"Bucky. Please, it's going to be-"

"Going to be what, Steven?!" That's when the Alpha comes onto his feet again, face beet red with puffy, watery eyes as he stares broken at Steve. Bucky can't lose his last star. He can't not. Not Steve.

"Buck, calm down. Please." Steve is just as upset. He always has been since the day he figured out he's having a baby. Because he understood the hardships that were to come, and this is one of the hardest ones yet. He leans up against the headboard staring at Bucky who's on the verge of  _that_ type of breakdown. And the both of them know that they can't have that right now.

Before all of this, the marriage, the baby, the relationship, even the meeting, Bucky went through a traumatic time. He experienced severe abuse from his parents. Especially the father. Couldn't acknowledge how much Bucky looked like his mother, and for 6 years the yelling and throwing and kicking and hitting was there. Then when his parents passed, a wave of relief had washed Bucky but...who feels that towards their own parents? Especially parents who had committed suicide on a bridge. It scared Bucky, a bit. That he felt no remorse for such abusive parents, instead feeling like a big weight had been lifted from his chest.

Then came his uncle Alexander.  _Fuck,_ his uncle. The fucker that raped Bucky until he was fifteen. The fucker that told Bucky he'll always be a slave for sex. The fucker that put Bucky in a child sex ring when he was 7. The fucker that brainwashed Bucky into becoming an obedient child prostitute and entertainer. The fucker that Bucky happily left when deciding to serve in the military. Then he came back, arm blown off and replaced with a prosthetic. Bucky didn't want to settle in just yet so decided to find a part time job with his room mate, Brock. They met after their last tours and worked together for some time.

Bucky will admit, he looked good when he was younger, clean shaven and hair neatly slicked back. But realising that he's already copped a fellow, Bucky couldn't care less about his appearance. There was something about his younger 20's where he was your typical Alpha that was drinking after missing the happy-go-lucky childhood and serving the country. Until coming upon Steven Grant Rogers, Bucky was considering that maybe life would be better... _without it._ Bucky Barnes was a suicidal guy after experiencing not only abuse his whole life but the dangers of war. Watching people mourn over their dead families, killing children who were suicide bombers, sitting for hours, days on end with a sniper pointed directly at that door, waiting for the next person to walk out. It has been a busy life. And Bucky couldn't have cared less if someone were to take it.

Then meeting Steve, his world was flipped around. For once he was happy, smiling from ear to ear and laughing like an idiot. Hell, Bucky even got to learn to cook since feeling happier with life. Because he only bothered to get takeaway before. They went on all sorts of trips together like skiing and group trips with everyone from Stark Industries. Then they fell in love, not hesitating to flaunt their fondness over each other. Steve saved Bucky. He walked into Bucky's life and saved him from the demons watching from afar. They've disappeared.

And now that Steve's sick, Bucky doesn't know what to do.

"Buck, please." Steve sighs, tears leaking from his blue eyes. His face scrunches in an agonising way as he shakes his head and Bucky sinks lnto his knee's then takes Steve's hand, his thumb circling the poking knuckles.

"It's fine Stevie. It's okay. I'm not angry at you. I never will be. I just...I just freaked out. But I promise Steve that we will get through all this. I promise." He does his best to smile up at the Omega, still circling the bony knuckles. Steve nods, wiping his tears away with the sleeve of Bucky's hoodie he's wearing, and a small smile cracks on his lips.

"Okay."

"You don't gotta worry doll. I'm here for you."

They stay just like that, staring at each other as Bucky lets his emotions calm down. He doesn't want to cry or lash out or break something again. He just wants to rest and show Steve that everything is fine, and it will be. Eventually.

 

*****

That same night Clint and the others come up to their floor with a mass amount of food, wrapped dishes of meat and salads and so many other things. They surprise the couple and luckily, the two are happy to see and smell such delicious food from all the way down in the hallway.

Bucky comes out of the room first seeing everyone unwrap the tinfoil off the plates and bowls, revealing a variety of colourful foods. "Hey, hey! Who brought the turkey around!" He cheers wrapping an arm around Sam's and Thor's shoulders. Everyone chuckles.

"My wife. She's back in town and decided to cook for you guys but, mainly Steve. She understands how stressful it can be after an unsucessful birth." Clint purses his lips together as he opens a bottle of champagne and pours a few drinks. Then the elevator dings again and his wife and children come in all laughing together.

"Oh, speak of the devil." Clint runs over to his family hugging them then guiding them all towards the filled table.

"I'll bring in Steve then." Bucky excuses himself as he rushes back into the room and see's Steve still in bed trying to get himself up despite all the equipment he's hooked up to. The wheelchair is pulled out from the corner of the room and after dressing his Omega, Bucky takes them both back into the dining room and everyone cheers with a raised glass.

"Steve, good seing you again man." Sam pats his friends shoulder with a fond smile before handing him a glass of water.

Tony stands up, lightly hitting a spoon at the tip of the champagne glass. "Well everyone, I know this dinner occurred at such a short notice but I would like to thank Laura for creating these magnificent dishes." He announces and everyone nods turning to Clint's wife.

"Thank you Laura." They all sing in harmony with big grins. She shies away behind Clint's shoulder and with one last toast the eating begins, people arguing over the wishbone of the chicken and the cucumbers in the salad. The night stays lively as some sit at the minibar, a few on the sofa's watching tv and Thor and Wanda competing over the biggest turkey sandwich. Steve stays beside Bucky in the wheelchair, nibbling on his roasted vegetables and two slices of turkey while watching tv. The two are basically stuck together the entire night until while no one is watching them, Steve asks Bucky to go outside onto the balcony.

They retreat from the small party, both quiet while staring out at the lit up city. It's beautiful from such a distance, especially with such a cool breeze blowing directly towards them. And the blanket of snow layering the buildings, white dots falling from above.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Steve?"

"Yeah! Yeah...of course I am Buck. I'm just kind of confused. Like, why-"

"Why the sudden party?" Bucky interrupts, still staring forward at the city with his hair blowing everywhere.

"...Yeah."

"I guess I missed getting to take you to restaurants and that. You're geting sick and all so I thought maybe you would enjoy getting back into the whole livliness thing. Maybe not?" He finaly turns to Steve, expression unreadable.

"What? No! No, I love it Buck!" He shakes his head, panicking. Then he sighs and leans back into his wheelchair. "Eating with everyone again. Feels like I'm not even sick anymore. It's just...I feel bad making everyone worry so much. No one's going on anymore missions ever since Peggy passed away and always come up to check on me. Even Tony does, and we all know how busy he is."

Bucky breathes in then crouches down so he's at eye-level with Steve, holding his fragily hand. "Stevie, baby, don't ever feel bad. They're choosing to do this, you're not making them. Whatever happens they're here for you. _We're_ here for you, okay?"

Steve doesn't respond, instead nodding gently before leaning forward and into Bucky's shoulder. They stay outside for only a few moments until going back inside, joining the lively group of people all joking and laughing. Throughout the night, Thor, of all people, keeps a close eye on Steve. He watches his every move to make sure that the Omega amidst Beta's and Alpha's is okay, and nit in pain for at least a second. Until it's during a card game.

It's late at night and Laura decided to go back home with the two children, while the adults stay at the Tower (as always) and continue the party without her. Everyone has thrown in a few notes and coins and are all laughing as Steve stays planted in his wheelchair, nasal tubes shifting from his small chuckles. The loud, overcoming noise of laughter erupts over the entire living room after Sam loses during such a cocky move, and Steve's smile has suddenly dropped. For the few moments Thor doesn't realise, he looks back up at Steve and see's the Omega clutching onto his thinning chest and stomach. Thor is immediately on his feet and running over to Steve across the living room.

"Steven, are you alright?" He asks, bending down. By that simple phrase the group is no longer focused on the game, and instead all eyes are on Steve.

"Y-Yeah...I'm uh...I'm fine..." The blond stutters with his eyes squeezed shut.

"Mr Rogers, I advise you to rest now. You're body is currently experiencing an overwhelming excess amount of pain and you are nauseous." Jarvis speaks over. Bucky shots up from his seat and starts to guide Steve back to their bedroom, all waving goodnight to each other. The game doesn't go on for too long after Wanda realises they're probably too loud, and so everyone else escapes the floor back into the main living room with more bottles of alcohol. Bucky on the other hand, stays beside his husband, whispering sweet words as he gently dabs a damp cloth over Steve's face then tucks him into bed. The heart monitor is alarming no matter what, and Bucky can't help help but wonder why it's been slowly down more and more.

"Feeling any better? That must've been too much, hm?" Bucky asks as he slides into bed after pulling off his shirt and throwing on sweatpants.

"It's fine. At least I got to see everyone happy again. We even got to see Sam lose a card game for once." Steve chuckles as his body slowly starts to give in to the warmth of the bed.

"Yeah. It's only once in a blue moon we see a moment that good. But overall, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself Stevie." The same metal arm twirls thin locks of blond hair around its finger as Bucky leans on his side staring forward.

"I love you." He whispers.

Steve's head shifts enough for him to lock eyes with Bucky. "I love you too."

 

Half way through the night something wakes Steve up. He doesn't know what, but he just does. His body stiffens and his eyes are wide open as he starts to lift himself up. Bucky's passed out beside him.  _Wake him up, Steve. Wake him up._

Steve rests a hand on Bucky's shoulder, shaking it. "Bucky. Bucky." He whispers.

The next moment, the Alpha's wide awake and alert as he grabs onto his husband in a panicking matter. "Steve? What's wrong?"

"I...Bucky, can we go somewhere?"


	17. Chapter 17

"Doll, whaddya gonna do at this hour of night?"  _Why the hell does Steve want to go somewhere at 2:30am?_

Steve shakes his head with a slight frown over his face as if he's hiding how much distress he's in. He grabs Bucky's arm pleading this time. "Please, please Bucky. I wanna go somewhere."

With those little puppy eyes, Bucky can't resist. He groans as he climbs out of bed stretching and throws on old beaten up jeans, a sweater, a jacket, combat boots with a matching scarf and beanie. When dressing Steve though, he wraps so many layers around him he forgets how much there actually is. They quietly escape the Tower without notifying anyone and plot themselves at the two front seats of their 4x4.

The ride is a comforting silent. Thick mats of snow over frosted grass, headlights beaming forward as Bucky shovels through on the roads. Steve sits back enjoying the scenery with two fluffy blankets tightened over his whole body and his machines all put to one side, even the oxygen tank has a small space to fit in. Faint music plays from the radio, trucky-like songs that Steve wants to scowl at, yet can't help but to feel enlightened with it.

"Where do you wanna go baby?" Bucky murmurs still staring ahead.

"...The...fair."

"The fair? With the games and rides? You sure?" Steve nods with a smile and Bucky shrugs, taking a left to head on off to the fair.

Bucky thought for sure that it would be closed, but of course it isn't. Underneath a dark morning sky, snow covers a tall spinning ferris wheel lit up with colours surrounded by a small area of yellow and red stalls. Only a few people wander around, mainly teens, giggling as they buy candies being sold around the place. Bucky parks underneath a tree hiding the couple away from the small crowd, while close enough to see the shining lights.

Instead of asking, he already starts to pull Steve's wheelchair out and unfolds it onto the frosty ground, carrying his husband out of the vehicle. Once connecting his whole set up the two walk around the fair listening in on the faint carnival music.

"What made you want to come here?" Bucky asks, leaning on the handles of the wheelchair as he pushes it around, eyes exploring the place.

He knows exactly why Steve wanted to come here. Because he's leaving. Because he's going to smile once more, then fall asleep, and never wake up again. Bucky knowa, that's why he didn't want to question so much. He just wants to hear Steve talk.

"...Just wanted to." Steve mumbles, eyelids heavy over his eyes.

"Y'know, the last time we came to a fair together was 3 years ago. It's good seeing everything is still the same."

"...Yeah."

They circle the fair, not bothering to grab any food. Steve feels his body weaken by the second, not because of the weather, the snow and low temperatures, but because of his illness. It's what woke him up. Now he knows. The sickness was alerting him. And he needs to spend his last time with Bucky. His beloved.

After another lap around the fair Bucky finally stops at a wooden bench, ensuring that the blankets over his Omega are tight and warm. They stay stuck together, wheelchair beside him as they watch the ferris wheel spin and spin through the white specks floating in the air.

"Bucky." Steve whispers, head leaning on the Bucky's shoulder.

"Mm?"

"I love you Bucky. With all my heart."

"I love you too Stevie. With all my heart."

"Don't forget to take out the trash every now and then. I know you're quick to forget that stuff." A small smile erupts on Bucky's face as he turns to his Omega, their gazes now locking. Their fingers entwine as softly as possible as Steve's skin begins to fall pale.

"I won't forget doll. Ever. As long as you stay with me a little longer, please?" That's all he asks for. Even a few more minutes.  _Please don't take Stevie away from me yet._

"I'm not going anywhere Buck. I'm never leaving you." Then his eyelids start to lower.

"You _are_ Stevie. You're leaving me baby. Please don't. I can't lose you. Don't leave me Steve." Bucky falls off the wooden bench and now stays on his knee's in front of Steve, leaning over his legs as his lips caress every single calloused finger. Such graceful hands that have touched so many things, drawn such beauty, painted such paradise, trembled every night as he suffered for his child. Their child.

"I'm never leavin' ya. Cause I'm with ya...til the end of the line Bucky." Steve whispers, staring down at his Alpha in his lap.

Bucky shakes his head in denial.  _Don't leave me alone._ His tears could almost drown a country as they stream down his face. His face reddens angrily, painfully, and his hair falls over his eyes messily.

"Til the end of the line, Steve." Bucky coughs up his Omega's name once more as he looks up, seeing Steve smile like he could live on forever. That smile. It could move mountains, stop a racing avalanche, end war and conflict. It could do so much to heal the wounded.

Steve lifts a hand up and runs it through Bucky's hair, feeling those thick locks tangle between his fingers. Then he stops, leans his head back and closes his eyes. Bucky watches Steve fall into peace, watches him silently smile and his heartbeat stop. The Alpha then burrows his head into Steve's lap deeper as he whimpers and sobs, the loss of his Omega already sinking in. A sweet, succulent smell no longer lingers around his nostrils, completely evaporating into the thin and stale air. Bucky's lost his mate, his Omega. He can tell because the mate bond that was bitten into Steve's neck on the night they first made love no longer radites, blindly or at all.

He stays like that, just like that. Sobbing for god knows how long, then just laying in Steve's lap quietly, sniffling and resting with bloodshot eyes that watches specks of snow join onto blankets of it on the ground.

 

*****

 

"I'm going to go get more drinks. I'll be back soon."

"Alright. Be safe."

Bucky doesn't answer as he throws on his coat and slowly shuffling himself out the door, back into the depths of chaotic snow. He walks along the driveway towards his car, climbing inside the warm space of light brown leather seats. A small picture of Steve hangs through a string tied on the rear mirror, and Bucky stares at it for a good minute.

Two years. Two years have passed since Steve passed away. And since then Bucky hasn't even bothered to laugh. Chuckle. Smile, anything. The mate bond on his neck he received from Steve has disappeared completely, not leaving a trace of its existence. Steve's smell no longer lingers on any of his clothes, and there's no cologne, deodorant, soap, or anything that falls close to the familiar scent. Now Bucky spends his days working in his warehouse at Stark Tower, boxing and managing as before, and spends his nights in his recliner holding one of Steve's shirts.

He doesn't talk as much. Nods, grunts, only says small phrases like "Thanks", "Okay" and "Will do". Everyone tries to start a conversation with him but nothing makes him talk. He doesn't want to talk.

The radio turns on as the engine roars alive, and Bucky backs out of the driveway. He goes up the road, turns a left and passes all the stores. Goes around the city until he's made his way out of it, onto only an empty road with no skyscrapers towering over him. Only forever extending patches of frosted land going on and on. Fewer roads cross through his as he starts to speed up. Bucky passes a sign, one that he should've taken notice to but didn't bother to. From almost further down on his right a loud sound wails over his ears and he glances to see a long, everlasting train travelling its way crossing his pathway.

He speeds up even more. The train doesn't, won't stop under any circumstances in time. Bucky looks back up at the picture of Steve smiling with his body wrapped in his Alpha's arms on their wedding day and he feels the tears start to well up in his eyes again.

The train goes off again and Bucky doesn't lift his foot of the pedal. He keeps on going, driving. The closer he gets to the train track the louder the horn gets until his ears are blocked.

"I'm coming Stevie." He murmurs as tears finally drop off his cheeks.

The train honks once more and Bucky's car merges with the front of the train. Everything in his sight goes black, then everything goes silent.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
